As women, we are taught with constant reinforcement of our value
being in goodness,
in unconditional giving and
We are especially rewarded for saying YES.
Yes, I can do it.
Yes, I will put my own needs aside to take care of that.
Yes, I will get more done in one day than is humanly possible and
I won't let anyone down in the process.
Yes, I will do all this with patience and a smile on my face.
When I take time to think consciously
about my own difficulties of over giving words like;
self sacrifice, depletion, and
diminishment come to mind.
when too frequently
at times when what we really want and need is to say NO?
We receive this conditioning early on,
and it's frequently repeated throughout our lives,
even though we know from childhood development studies
how important it is for a two year old's self esteem to
learn to say NO and be taken seriously.
To boot, the dramatic increase in technology has made saying no
exponentially more difficult.
Not only do our emails and phones "need" our constant attention.
We receive a mounting volume of information
through the media about
what we should look like, how we should behave and
who we should be.
We are inundated with what we should say YES to.
Here's the question:
How do we prioritize both our own needs
and the needs of others, in order to
breathe more freely and
feel more present, whole and alive?
How do we say no when necessary,
with clarity and follow through?
And how do we shape our yes's to
really be YES's
from our whole heart?
For me, growth lies in
self care and truly listening
to my own discerning voice.
Though, I know this is not a place of arrival.
It is a process,
requiring cultivation of new habits by
paying attention to the sometimes
simplest of choices,
in the briefest of moments.
I am taking deep inventory of the quality of my yes's and no's,
learning to align them towards being truthful and genuine.
And, I am inserting myself back into the equation of
nourishing the needs of the world.
YES, that means nourishing myself.
Through neither pushing or pulling the weight of it all myself,
I can let go of the constriction of either/or and black/white thinking.
This is the place I remember of thriving;
a space of middle ground.
Thriving in an environment of both/and where I find
flexibility and new awareness in the changing winds.
Here I find the
quiet grace and courage
to know my life is worth it.
We are ALL worth this.